18. splitting up with my sweetheart once we had been both on our very own intervals.

Don’t make abrupt choices whenever you’re both bleeding.

19. are wildly jealous and possessive toward my sweetheart any time another mascara lesbian/femme kind registered the space.

In the event the girl is going to flirt, she’s browsing flirt. Performing like a deranged, hyper-jealous head circumstances isn’t attending quit anyone from doing nothing. In fact, it will probably only aggravate the lady need.

20. Flirting with female cops, TSA agents, security protections, along with other feamales in consistent because we presumed these people were gay.

We lust after a female in a consistent, but sadly not all women in uniforms crave after me.


I love those longer, pointy Lana Del Rey nails. But my personal ex-girlfriend didn’t value all of them once I attempted entrance with those tough talons.

Oh, the sacrifices united states trend lezzies must alllow for sex! thankfully orgasms feel great than acrylic nails flavoring.

22. Faking a climax.

You might be in a position to fake sexual climaxes with men, you can’t trick your very own sex, honey. Learned this option the hard means.

23. non-safe sex, because, you know, “lesbians can’t see STIs.”

I’m astonished I managed to get from my personal naughty phase (I state “slut” in an empowered ways! do not stress!) without finding every STI under the sun.

Used to don’t even understand exactly what a dental dam was actually while I ended up being 21. I was thinking it had been one thing they caught in your mouth within dental expert. And I also dislike the dental practitioner.

24. Playing to the “helpless femme” label.

Just because society associates womanliness with weakness does not suggest I have to play the part. Screw that. We put on heaps of mascara, look great in pale green, AND can rescue myself personally from any sort of disaster.

25. Falling in love while lost at lesbian parties.

“Owen, I’m crazy” I when slurred to my personal best friend at the now-defunct Williamsburg gay pub “Sugarland.” The following early morning we woke with my center beating and my personal throat as dried out as the Sahara wasteland.

I found myself unexpectedly inundated with awkward memories of pronouncing my want to a woman whoever title or face I could not keep in mind. For the next year, I stayed in incessant concern with running into this girl once more.


26. contacting my girlfriend my ex-girlfriend’s identity.

Though used to do see a terrific way to step out of this. Should you contact their girl the ex-girlfriend’s name, merely duplicate the annotated following:

“Oh babe, I’m therefore sorry. We also known as you the girl label because We link the lady with stress and I’m exhausted at this time! You never worry me personally aside, which is the reason why it feels overseas to say their gorgeous title as I become exhausted.” Works wonders.

“Only a lesbian could consider that,” my pal Kevin believed to me while I informed your the way I got away from phoning my personal girlfriend an inappropriate label. He’s perhaps not wrong.

27. reasoning I experienced a “type.”

I always think that I enjoyed ladies with short hair who were bigger than me. Today we understand we don’t discriminate.

Butch, femme, stalk, high, brief — I really like a myriad of lesbians (once the French would state, lesbiennes). Purr.

28. Playing difficult to get.

I accustomed consider basically blew off a date or performedn’t text the lady I lusted over back, she’d at all like me more. I then recognized that that online game doesn’t deal with girls (no less than perhaps not confident, mentally-stable females). It simply produces the lady think that you’re a manipulative small twerp, and she doesn’t have time for this, OK?

29. dropping up-and informing a lady about basic Tinder big date I had already viewed the woman Instagram.

“Oh, yeah, your cat, Fred! He’s soooo adorable.”

“How have you figured out You will find a pet named Fred?”

Crickets. Crickets. And much more crickets.

30. Convinced the very first woman I actually outdated is the love of my entire life which would I never get over the woman.

1st lesbian slice is the deepest, but I hope you, my personal heartbroken child lesbians, you’re perhaps not expected to have 1st girl you date. Actually, you need ton’t find yourself with Discover More Here initial female your date. Your emotions are too of strike, the limits are too highest. Plus, to be able to know what you really like, you ought to get inside and time as much different girls as you can.

Thus dry those rips, babe. You’ll conquer the girl. We big-sister-lesbian hope.